Disability and Spirituality
The word spirituality has been derived from the Latin word “Spiritus’’ meaning breath or we can say “breath of life”. When we are spiritual we see life as a scared blessing. Then there is no bondage…we feel free…we inculcate the capability to admire, to love and to feel joy. It heals our souls by making us more and more compassionate each day. The doors of life are thrown open to passion; our soul is fed, making our lives worth living.
Poignancy of life is felt when we look at the innocent face of a child, when we love our near ones, when we listen to good music, when we see the freshly fallen snow, when the raindrops touch our faces, when the waves of the sea touch our feet! And all this is nothing, but spirituality. It does not only have healing powers, but can also unfold the greatest of the mysteries of our existence. It has an attribute of untying the most intricate emotional and psychological knots in our minds.
We all have our relationships on three planes i.e. interpersonal or relationships with each other, intra-personal i.e. with our own self and tran-spersonal i.e. with the supreme power. On the basis of this we can thus define “spirituality as a propensity to find meaning in experience through one’s relationships. And, disability whether chronic, genetic or acquired, adversely affects our relationships on all these three planes.
In India there is a whole lot of stigma attached to disability. Here disability represents divine justice. At a more mundane level, people with disabilities are traditionally perceived as somehow inauspicious. When people looked at me when I was small, they used to tell my parents not to worry as she is the chosen one! God has chosen her to face these challenges and all this has some hidden meaning. Or I have heard people saying many times jaisi bhagwan ki marzi thi (it must have been the will of God). Or the theory of Karma is brought forward in hidden messages saying that disability is a kind of punishment of sins that I had done in my past life!
Don’t you think such statements show escapism from taking responsibility for our lives instead of figuring out how to live a well adjusted and well adapted life?
There are no two opinions about the fact that when something physical happens to our body, it takes something away from us. Questions like, “why me?” often rule the minds of the sufferers. “How would I lead rest of my life?” How would now support my family?” “Nobody would love me anymore. Rather everyone will pity me”. Loss of function stimulates such thoughts. Trauma of any kind first results in denial, and then there is anger and frustration. We feel cheated by our destiny. There can be disgust. There is strong probability of personality distortion due to the fear of rejection by the family and society. Poor body image culminates into inferiority complexes of all kinds. One often thinks, “Why do people always look at me in an awkward way that something is wrong with me, by the way I talk or by the way I walk?” One constantly gives undue importance to the other people’s approval or disapproval.
Uncertainties about future and old age in the wake of unemployment and financial crisis can cause anxieties, depression and development of irritable personalities. Lack of confidence in one’s own abilities and knowledge of True self creates a kind of vicious circle. One might become spiritually disabled and lack of spirituality in turn disables the person all the more!
Disability tends to bring awareness, but such awareness is not about positive aspects of life. All our bad aspects of self start showing up although unintentionally. There is an increased awareness only of deficits and differences. Anger, impatience, guilt, self blame and biased judgments become rule of the day. Self-esteem nose dives by an unending barrage of assaults from the environment as well as barriers of all kinds. Negative messages from parents, siblings, friends, teachers, and even medical professionals add fuel to the fire.
Though physical states might be improved up to a certain extent or they might even not be altered a bit but there is a hope that the reactions to the physical state can be improved considerably. And that ray of hope vests in spirituality. We have to draw from inner strength and drawing on inner strength is another word for spirituality in many ways. Every disability and illness brings with it a sense of loss and pain. But here I would like to say that to remain immersed in that sense loss might lead to aggravation of the problem. If one does not try to see and feel beyond the experience of loss and find channels for the expression of the true Self, one would agonize oneself more and more each day.
Spirituality is neither an object nor a theory…No scientific method has the capability of exploring it. It is a subjective personal experience which teaches us how to appreciate each and every component of this universe. And when we learn that we come to know our True Self…We develop self efficacy which becomes our strength to manage the “burden” of disability while engaging in behaviours to promote wellness, to counter the barriers and discrimination…emotional and physical pains are no longer felt. There is contentment despite losses. We neither use people nor become tools in anybody’s hand. Intolerable circumstances now become tolerable. Happiness, thus, trickles down.
Spirituality goes beyond involvement in a religious organization and should not be mixed with religion. Rather it is basic construct of all the religions. Practicing spirituality does not require any intermediary priest or rituals. All we need is discipline. It is the discipline of learning to rest within our inner space, to experience pure consciousness, so as to be able to “see”, as an objective observer. It is also the discipline of making the CHOICE…the choice to interrupt the negative thought cycles and substitute positive thought cycles.
This discipline trains us to withdraw attention away from the senses, from the emotions, the thoughts which wander across our minds. And when we are successful in doing this there is state of bliss and love.
Spirituality does not require withdrawal from the everyday activities of life rather it transforms our everyday life making us stronger to face the turbulent waves that any kind of disability brings. Withdrawals leads to isolation and despair. Renouncing the world is running away from reality. Spirituality assists us in acceptance and awareness of our situation. It helps us to live fully and in the present – in REALITY, the here and now. Happiness can never be found in denial, but in control of our lives, learning about, managing, and living each day in quality without any fear, without any apprehensions.
Spiritual growth takes place when we get well versed in integrating our disability into our lives. Disability then becomes another dimension of living. Now we are able to concentrate more on symptom management rather than only focusing on symptoms and continuously feeling the pain. Quality of life then can improve. The doors of possibilities open up and all the boundaries expand…!
Abha Khetarpal
President
Cross the Hurdles
